Television has been called a lot of things – exciting, stimulating, and even interactive. Unfortunately for network TV, I’ve never called it any of those. Although most of my life has been within the vague vicinity of a television screen, it’s always seemed like a temporary fix between my moments of wanting to do something more important. I believe I lived a pretty active life as a child, so there’s a strong possibility that I’m in the minority when it comes to my dependency on the tube. That being said, Television History and Critique begins.
My biggest issue with television today is the grandeur in which they promote…how can I put this lightly…all the shit that doesn’t matter. The façade of bullshit that is hyper-flashed across the screen each day doesn’t let you escape to another program or another channel…ever. Around every corner, the network executives seem to be pulling out all the stops in their efforts to keep you watching. It was one thing to promote your own shows during commercial breaks, but now there are CG banners taking up 1/3 of the screen, sometimes even with their own sound and video. What the hell already! Let me watch the watered down version of Blow on USA without being interrupted by Glenn Close and her outdated sexual promiscuity.
Everything from “reality TV” to 24 hour news stations to ridiculous entertainment game shows tries to pull you in by any means necessary. They cast contestants who are camera-friendly and those that possess “personality.” Reality TV is no longer unrehearsed, game shows no longer use “real people”, and the stuff they stir and bloat out of proportion on 24 hour news channels makes me wish I read the newspaper more. These days, television gives off a desperate-and-unattractive-pedophile-with-candy vibe. They’ll do anything to get close to you by this point.
Don’t get me wrong. Not all television is bad. There are well-written television programs on today, most notably the recent wave of off-the-cuff and semi-improv comedy shows. And while all programs may have respectable writers working for them, the fact is that if America truly believes that there is some strategic element to Deal or No Deal then our civilization is crumbling from the cerebrum outward.
As a very open critic of our current television situation, it becomes increasingly difficult for me to watch television and think of productive alternatives to the spiraling black hole that I believe TV has become. I’ve always been quick to point out the flaws, but when it comes to finding solutions, it’s troubling how difficult it is to find a good answer.
The best I have come up with thus far is the idea of customizable programming. In my perfect world, I want to be able to watch what I want to watch when I want to watch it. And I don’t want commercials or advertisements. Hell…I’d pay so much more for cable if I knew I could just choose shows at my convenience. My honest opinion however is that, in general, people are lazy when it comes to finding what they like. Just like with music, it takes real research and time to find your favorite. Unfortunately, it’s easier for everyone to watch “whatever’s on” or listen to “whatever’s on the radio.” The general public talks about it like it’s a real choice. Country, Oldies, Top 40, or Rock? What everyone fails to understand is that somebody somewhere is still choosing what music receives airplay. People like to believe that they impact what is being played or televised, but in reality they are only choosing from very limited choices. It’s like being presented with five jellybeans and having to choose your favorite. It feels good to choose…until you realize you live a block away from the Jelly Belly factory and have just never bothered to take some time and look around.
On second thought, maybe it’s not TV and what is on it that pisses me off. It’s the people that watch it mindlessly without ever asking why. I mean, really…can that many people care about Dancing With The Stars?
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