My Own Worst Nightmare...

First off, let me say that this whole blog thing has got me more confused than cattle spinning circles in a pasture during a twister. Are we writing about what we talked about or what we're going to talk about or whatever the hell we feel like? Is there a deadline? Does Epley even read it? If anyone has the answers to these questions, throw them up as your legitimate blog post. We could answer at least one of the questions right there...but, moving on.

There's something about being busy a lot of times that doesn't allow me to take in the sights and sounds of really fantastic television. Even those shows I truly might want to spend an hour watching are slotted around some inconvenient time during “the work week”. Basically if it's on Monday through Friday night, I can't watch it. However, with this new advancement of downloading television shows directly to your computer, it makes it easy to watch them at your earliest convenience. Take last night for example.

A good friend of mine, Mr. Cook we'll call him, sent me a link to the finale to this uproarious little sitcom that we had discovered a while back. As the DIVX file was fairly large, I decided to download that puppy to my desktop as I readied myself for a good night's sleep. I folded my laundry, turned off my monitor, lied myself down and sunk deep into dreamland. Or so I thought...

Fast forward to 2:37 AM. I'm awoken to a voice that is an awkward mix of G.I. Joe and 12-year old girl whine. It's extremely startling and is soon accompanied by two rival voices. The trio becomes engaged in a discussion of sorts and I become fully convinced that there is a fight ready to happen in my back driveway. As I listen in closely, the voices become louder, more aggressive, and eventually accompanied by music. It was at that point that I fully gained my composure and connected the necessary dots.

My friends, I do not ever wish this upon any of you, but you must learn from my story. Never, under any circumstances, download an automatically prompted-to-play student television show while you're going to bed. If you do, you could make the ultimate sacrifice. Sleep is precious and if you wish to ever have it again, I would advise you to never...ever...be awoken by the booming, nightmare-inducing, and overall terrifying voice of our very own SLAM-Man, Mr. Nathan Epley. Now go and tell my story...for insomnia may prevent me from seeing any of you ever again.